My wife, as you know, is Australian. I don't want to say that she hates baseball, but she definitely doesn't understand it. By that, I don't mean that she doesn't know what's going on - she can certainly follow a game. It's that she doesn't understand the importance of baseball.

Why else would she book a five-day camping trip to start on Opening Day?

This is my way of saying that I will be incommunicado for the biggest day of the sporting calendar. I'm none too pleased about this. At least I'll get to see the Marlins/Cardinals game (I'm watching it now on the DVR) and I've set the Reds/Marlins game and White Sox/Rangers Sunday night game to record, but in order to not find anything out, it's radio silence.

I don't like camping at the best of times. I hate camping right now. This is not my idea of a relaxing vacation. Sitting in front of a television watching nine straight hours of baseball is my idea of a great time.

Grrrr.