Here we go - the first installment of Pack Wars! Come to think of it, I kinda like the title "Battle Blaster" better. And Rule 1 of Pack Wars Battle Blasters is that capriciousness and whims are the order of the day. On with the show...

Battle #1
Pack 1 vs. Pack 2

I liked in better back in 2009, when Topps would put different players on the front of packs. This time, we just have ten Albert Pujolses battling each other. Here we have Albert I vs. Albert II

Albert I
J.J. Hardy (+1) (Orioles)
Dan Haren
Grant Balfour (+3)
Phil Niekro Mound Dominance insert
Albert Pujols Career Day insert
Chase Utley (+1 for sliding/diving headfirst - a.k.a. the Pete Rose bonus)
Alex Gonzalez
Chris Johnson (-1) (Astros)

Total score: 4

One pack in, and I've already shown my capriciousness. I've decided to award Grant Balfour an extra point for wearing the gold A's jersey, and another point for being an Aussie. I can't believe I didn't include that as a category. It is so forever enshrined, and I'll be updating the official scoring system

Albert II
Gaby Sanchez
Brett Gardner (-1) (Yankees)
Wade Miley
Andruw Jones (+1) (Gold) (-1) Yankees = A big, fat zero
Cliff Lee
Zack Cozart (+2)
Robert Andino (+1) (Orioles)
Gerardo Parra

Total score: 3

Zack Cozart gets one point for being a Red, and a bonus point for being one of my favorite Reds. As the cliche goes, "he plays the game the right way." Still, it's not enough - Battle #1 goes to Albert I! It's the leader in the clubhouse, but something tells me 4 points isn't going to hold up. Shall we have another battle? Sounds good!

Battle #2
Albert III vs. Albert IV

Albert III
Nick Swisher (-1) (Yankees)
Buster Posey (+1) (Orange uniform)
Dan Uggla - not even the base card, the checklist
Ty Cobb Gold Standard insert (-1 for being a horrible human being)
Ken Griffey Jr. 1987 mini (+8)
Carlos Quentin (+1 for the smirk on his face)
Mark Ellis
Frank Francisco (+1 for having the same first and last name)

Total score: 9

Not even having both a smug Yankee outfielder and an unrepentant racist can hold this pack down! Not when there's the coolest insert card in the set! To be honest, I had no idea that Series 2 '87 mini cards featured retired players. And when I was creating the scoring system, I had forgotten that Junior and Topps had kissed and made up, and that he was now featured in 2012 Topps. Since my other PCs get two points, I figure Griffey is worth double because he's retired. Along those same lines, I doubled the '87 mini bonus, too. That's how I got 8 points. See, it's not completely random.

The bonus points for Carlos Quentin and Frank Francisco, well, yeah, that is pretty random.

Albert IV
Rafael Furcal
Gio Gonzalez (+1 for being a part of the Nationals all-conquering rotation)
Charlie Furbush (+1) (Mariners)
Ozzie Smith Golden Moments insert
Domonic Brown Gold Futures insert (+1)
Chris Carpenter
Tim Lincecum (+2)
Carlos Pena

Total Score: 5

Who packed this pack, Tony LaRussa? The last time I saw this many Cardinals in one place was the NL All-Star team. That reminds me - fair warning: if I see LaRussa's mug pop up I'm going to give him -10 points for the way he treated Johnny Cueto and Brandon Phillips. I resisted the urge to give Charlie Furbush a bonus point for his vaguely obscene last name. That kind of stuff shouldn't be celebrated.

Poor Albert IV. That score would have won Battle #1, but it had the bad luck to go up against Mini Griffey. Oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles. A strong score by Albert III, will it hold up against six more packs? All will be revealed...tomorrow!

A silly idea I "came up" with while driving up to Perth today...

I bought a few blaster packs of Series 2, and rather than just open them up and post the contents, I wondered how I could have some fun with them. Why not have the packs "battle" against each other for the title of most badass pack in the blaster? Of course, some sort of points or ratings system would need to be devised in order to determine the winner.

Going on the idea that the best (or at least funniest) point systems are completely random (see Whose Line is it Anyway? or RockWiz), here's some ideas. I've got three blasters, so the points system could change completely from one blaster to the next. I will, however, keep it consistent between all packs in a blaster, or else my fake competition won't be fair to the inanimate competitors. And we can't have that, can we?

Provisional point system:
+1  Reds, Orioles, White Sox, Mariners or Athletics
+1  Gold Futures (one of two insert series I'm actually collecting)
+1  Gold card
+1  for wearing a throwback jersey
+1  for being Australian
+1  for being from Raleigh, N.C.
+2  Ichiro, King Felix and The Freak
+2  1987 Mini (the other insert, and one that's twice as cool as Gold Futures)
+2  Any other insert card that's worth keeping, not trading away
+2  Golden Giveaway card (but only if it unlocks something cool)
+3  Short Print
+3  Gold card I actually give a damn about
+5  Gold card for my PC
+5  Gold card that's an SP (Gatorade or otherwise)
+8  Relic or auto (in a blaster?!?)
+10  Any card that prominently features seagulls chasing ballplayers

-1   Yankees, Astros
-3   Any card that has already been pulled in that blaster (this may disadvantage later packs, but honestly, duplicates in a blaster is inexcusable)
-5   Alex Rodriguez
-100  Alex Rodriguez relic or auto (seriously, what a waste)

Points are cumulative, so an Alex Rodriguez card would actually be worth -6, unless he's wearing a Rangers jersey for some reason, then it would be -5. You get the picture.

I reserve the right to add or subtract points for unforseen circumstances, or just because I really like or dislike a particular card.

I'll start the competition with my first blaster, and go from there. There's ten packs, numbered from 1 to 10 (duh!) in the order that I pulled them out of the blaster (double duh!). Pack 1 will battle Pack 2, Pack 3 vs. Pack 4, and so on. This doesn't exactly lend itself to a bracket, since all the information will be out there following the first round. I've already opened the manu-patch, and it's a retired number card of Hall-of-Famer Rod Carew.

Any predictions on which pack (1 through 10) will be the winner? Results to come tomorrow.

This week's Bonehead of the Week? Angel Hernandez. Because he cost the Reds that Sunday night game against the Tigers.

He had a bug up his ass about Ryan Ludwick and called two balls as strikes, including one that was egregious.

He called Devin Mesoraco out on a bogus interference call and sent the baserunner back to first base. Never mind that second was stolen no matter how good Gerald Laird's throw was.

In the spirit of impartiality, he even screwed the Tigers over on a fan interference call.

He sucks. He is the worst umpire in baseball, and that's saying something, because Joe West is apparently still alive.

We should just re-name the award the Angel Hernandez Bonehead of the Week. Or just the Angel Hernandez of the Week.

The picture you see above you is a baby in a bassinet, watching a Reds game on TV. The batter is Ryan Ludwick. The baby is my son, born on Tuesday. He is the first child for me and my wife. By luck or a twist of fate, the Reds just happened to be on the air on Thursday here in Australia. It was my son's first game.

Even though the Reds lost to the Pirates, and even though he had no idea what was going on (and probably couldn't even see the TV due to newborn eyesight being approximately 20/400), I was able to do something I had been dreaming about for many, many years...watch a Reds game with my son. May it be the first of many. :)

I was going to make a snarky post about seagulls, and being chased by them. Then I got to the hit of the pack:


If I could pick any Oriole to get a relic from, it would be Frank Robinson, of course. But Brooksie is a close second. Even if it's a manuhit, it's still pretty sweet looking.

OMG It's a Frank Robinson bobblehead!

Seriously though, it's a Frank Robinson bobblehead. How could I not get it? It's like twenty different kinds of awesome.

It joins my Junior bobblehead on my shelf. I now need a Harold Baines bobblehead to complete the trio.

The situation: Top of the 7th, 1 out, bases loaded. Mariners up 2-0

What happened: Denard Span hits a tailor-made double play ball right back at Wilhelmsen. Instead of throwing the ball to Jesus Montero waiting at the plate to get the lead runner or maybe even a 1-2-3 double play, Wilhelmsen unexpectedly throws to second base. Nobody is expecting the ball to go to second, not even second baseman Dustin Ackley. Luckily, Ackley manages to catch the throw, but all hands are safe and the Twins score a run.

The aftermath: You can probably guess what happens next. Wilhelmsen damn near walks Jamey Carroll on four pitches, but Carroll hits into a 3-6 fielder's choice (which plates the tying run). That, of course, brings up Joe Mauer. Wilhelmsen is pulled for Charlie Furbush, who grooves a 3-1 fastball (with a base open) that Mauer hits for a single, scoring Trevor Plouffe to give the Twins a 3-2 lead. That's all for Furbush, but Steve Delabar gets into the act by plunking Josh Willingham to load the bases back up. A nervy at-bat to Ryan Doumit ensues, complete with pitches in the dirt that need to be blocked and a warning-track fly that Ichiro mercifully gathers up, ending the inning. But the damage was done - Twins, 3-2. And that's how it stayed.